I love the idea of AS being likened to a storm, sometimes roaring and trying to knock you off your feet and flatten you, at other times grumbling quietly in the back ground and you are just waiting and waiting and watching for it to spring to life, and then there is the calm………..
After so many years and so much fusing, I don’t have too many hurricanes these days, thank goodness, but the quiet grumbling can be every bit as unsettling. That is how I tend to be most of the time these days. Never mad swirling frightening storm, but just a grumble with the odd skirl, just enough to stop you from relaxing, but enough to make sure you don’t give up on the meds!!
I can remember well some of the bad storms, the screaming and crying with the pain of it all, wandering the house at night holding onto the wall as you are so tired of being so uncomfortable in bed and unable to sleep, and feeling like banging your head off the wall you are holding onto to get some release from it all. Trying to travel to get to the doctor and ending up crouching on the floor in the back of a cab as you couldn’t take the pain of feeling every pothole in the road. But you all know what I mean, you have all been there. You do toughen up and your pain threshold rises up. It has to.
But we come through it, there is no point in worrying about it, it doesn’t help. And we learn to zip our mouths when someone tells you they know how you feel as they hurt their back lifting something heavy……
We get better and better at dealing with it, we get better and better at hiding it, and better and better at living with it. We weather the storm and learn to enjoy the calm, be apprehensive about the quiet grumbling, but when the big one hits – well been there done that, we weather it, we get through it, till the next time.